Joan ...a short dark lady. Round headed, had a moustache, some 'whiskers'. She was very fit. She used to run every morning and had biceps made of solid iron. She shaved her hair bald and had red eyes. She pretty much had unnoticeable boobies and her ass was almost flat. To add salt to injury, she wore male pants. I'm pretty sure you got an almost vivid image in your head. Don't you just think she should have been called John. If this was a puzzle, John would have made a perfect finish. I think her name was John when she was born then she probably discovered that she had a "Kitty cat" later in life. ....and Oh My Goodness, lady man got scary toe nails. Not even one year of pedicure would help.
Lady man was our househelp when I was 6. At 6, I had just joined my first year of primary school. I was this pretty chubby little daughter of my old lady. Well, she was pretty young and sexy then.
I lived near school. It was a walking distance. When John first showed up at my house, I was sure she was male. Don't blame me, you would have thought the same if you were in my shoes.
Everyday, I would get a ride to school on lady man's back. Her back was just as comfortable as my bed. My shoes were polished so well, I could almost see my reflection. I was always the neatest girl in school every morning. As she dropped me at the school gate, she would say, "Rudi nyumbani ukiwa mchafu ...utajua mimi ni nani..." She would then move her index finger across her neck and widen her red eyes. I would have nightmares just coz of that look. Other kids would see her and walk two metres away from her. I would then run as fast as my feeble legs could carry me to the washrooms before I had the chance to pee on myself. The whole day I would not play at all. If I play, I get dirty, if I get dirty, lady man will cut off my throat, if lady man cuts off my throat, I die, If I die, I won't get the chance to kiss hot boy when I turn 11.
On a beautiful Saturday, lady man would clean the house thoroughly. We would be kicked out of the house before the cleaning was done. Those worst part was getting back into the house. Only clean kids were allowed inside. Lady man wanted to make us shower from outside so that we could get inside the house when we are sparkling clean. She would carry our nude bodies into the house. She had a long long lllllllooooonnnnngggggg cane in her manly hands. She would use it on anyone who refused to shower. Just before I removed my clothes, my old lady showed to save the day. With the cane in lady man's hand and my unstoppable yelling and wailing, old lady had enough evidence to fire lady man. I wonder how she used to carry me....I was a heavy and round little baby...and I mean rround.
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