Stress, geese, social intelligence, pampers

One of those days when I think I am stressed though I really don't know about what. I am stressed ....I am stressed ...I am stressed. No no no_all I am doing is thinking too much about nothing. I haven't been able to fart for some days. I even tried eating beans and boiled eggs. Might this be a symptom of stress. I actually thought it was a nice thing until I mentioned it to him and the paranoia kicked in. My phone does fart each time I get a text. If I start farting too, there will be so many people farting in my room. Don't forget my roommate who has to do it every morning. I am considering sleeping with a gas mask. There is very little oxygen in my room every morning. I should get a new roommate before the newspaper headlines read, "VERY GORGEOUS UNIVERSITY STUDENT IS KILLED BY ROOMMATE'S LOUD FARTS." I really fear geese. My pulse rate suddenly increases when I see them. My old man has about six of them. They are worse than dogs. They make so so much noise ...it is annoying. I have to make sure they are tightly locked up before I visit old man. Why can't old man just kill those things and eat them ...all of them. They have fat thighs and big wings... and the asses,I would totally hit that if I was a goose. I hear they are extremely sweet. Wonder why i fear them?? I was a really pretty baby at 11. In case you are wondering, I still am very pretty. My chest has grown bigger since then. That is probably the only noticeable difference since then. This white female goose chased me and bit my ass. And that is how I got scarred for the rest of my life. I used to think that was where my dimple came from but old lady confirmed that I was born with it. The only birthmark on my body. I only get to see it when I am unclothed. Have you ever gone out with your girlfriend and her friend then when you get back home the girlfriend's friend sleeps between the two of you. Social intelligence is a very rare commodity. The same friend changes how she talks around you. The American accent kicks in. What is with her need to look and sound like a genius?? Lets not talk about her top....it starts too late and ends really early. Need I mention the walking around the house naked!! A stranger would conclude that the three of you are doing each other. If I was a boy, I'd have done both of them. My jumpsuit issues have become too many. The next time I wear this thing, I will have bought myself diapers (pampers to be specific) My ass would look really big and round. I think I'll dig this look ....I am on my way to the supermarket. "Pampers on the shelves ....look sexy, Bubbles is coming for you."