I have been in Kakamega for the past few days. I have seen and heard a lot of hilarious shit. On my way to Kakamega, I used some Nissans popularly known as shuttles. I regretted trying to save money. I think I had the longest day of my life. On my right was my sister (thank God), on my left, was this really old man. I put on my pink head phones and started listening to my music. For two minutes, I felt like I was in heaven. I was nodding my head and tapping my feet to Bon Jovi's 'Its my life' when I felt someone squeezing my poor biceps. So, I put my headphones around my neck and decided to listen to what he had to say. "Unaenda kakameka??" He asked. You know, I was a lil bit offended. That guy committed 3 crimes...
1. He invaded my territory by squeezing my biceps.
2. He robbed me off the chance of listening to my favorite song and feeling like I was in heaven.
3. He asked me a question that I consider stupid.
I thought, lemme spare the old man. He probably doesn't know what he is doing. If he was a little man, I would have given him a piece of my mind. By little man, I mean anyone without grey hair. For the rest of the journey, I couldn't listen to my music because the old man was poking his nose into my business. Ninety percent of what I told him wasn't true. I'm not in the habit of giving my details to strangers.
As soon as I got home, I was totally relieved. I hadn't sat for ten minutes when we heard the wife to my neighbor screaming. My neighbor's wife was stack naked. She was also running, and screaming too. Behind her was the husband. He had a cane in his hand. He had raised the cane high in the sky ready to land it on the wife's naked ass. Behind him were his little kids. The kids were running after their parents in a single file. They were busy wailing and chanting some words that I couldn't hear. I'd like to think they were saying 'Daddy, samehea mummy'....I guess they were saying that in their mother tongue. (Please picture this -i found it funny) My neighbors in Kakamega are too inhuman. Instead of helping the poor naked lady, they were watching and trying to find out what the wife had done so they can know whether she deserves the punishment or not. It actually became a police case.
Since I came to Kakamega, I have been very stupid. One morning, I saw a tree with green fruits. I asked my mum what fruits those were. My cousin quickly answered that it was an avocado tree. Then my mum said, it's a mango tree. I decided to stare at the fruits keenly so I know who was telling the truth. I couldn't figure out what the yellow fruits were. Then it hit me that avocados ain't yellow. I should have hang myself with tissue paper for being that stupid.
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