Bookworms, lovers, Alphonce

Bookworms, lovers and Alphonce | CRACKEDDD…

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Between a rock and a hard place...

I wanna get out of my boring room but the weather outside is not so friendly. My ho-hum  teacher for maths has caused me a lot of mental weariness. This weather totally sucks. I hate this weather. It acts like a woman who is suffering from intense hormonal imbalance. (I suffer from this at times ...in fact, there is this particular friend of mine who has seen me at my worst, when I can actually bite off someone's head) I know what this weather needs ...a P.M.S chocolate bar.

My pal is gonna be doing mixes today. I have found myself between a very big rock and a hard place. (does this idiom make any sense ? Isn't a rock a hard place too. I found myself between two hard places) What the hell do people do when they are in my position. I have decision to make. Making decisions like this one is not really my thing. My purpose in life ....to make all choices that end up with a high me. A high me? I love a high me. I would marry a high me. That moment when you feel like you are on cloud 20. Everyone around you becomes suddenly very humorous. A smiley face becomes your default state. Befuddled beings are happy beings. I make sure not to get to that point where I am helplessly inebriated. I don't want anybody carrying me to my bed neither do I want to wake up in anybody else's bed.

Still wondering what decision I have to make?? Well, I have a test tomorrow afternoon that I haven't really studied for. I have a fifteen page term paper to do in the next 18 hours. My pal needs my support as he does his mixes.

In fact, I am not between a rock and a hard place ...I am between an enormous rock and two hard places. This decision making process will take much much longer than I think.

Making this decision is very extremely hard, I am straining myself mentally. This isn't good for me. I am not trying to go bananas. I need to be sane. Lemme take a hot shower ...  ....

The shower ...perfect it was ...orgasmic ..... (I feel so clean, I don't even want to add clothes on my body. Are we staying nude?? Oh yes we are) but unfortunately, my head hasn't been cleared yet.

I do what I do each time I need to clear my head ....I stare at the ceiling board like a retarded girl and then take a very long deep breath, just long enough to not kill me. As soon as I breath out, my genius brain has a solution to my problem.  Study for the next two hours till I get to saturation point then I can go support my mixer friend. There ....win-win situation. As for the research ...well, the collection date has just been postponed.

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Insomnia ...bugs... my new job

Sleepless night. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!! I am angry ...very very angry at my sleep. It evades when needed the most. Now I am wailing. Why can't I just sleep like a baby?! Wait ...how do babies sleep? I have been awake trying to study. I happen to have two tests in the next two. We both know what that means ...I might just be dead in the next 3 hours. Maybe I should quit school and become a runner. Why didn't I think about this earlier:-(:-(

I have been trying to at least understand this shit about integration. Why again do I study Maths?? This must have been the worst decision that I have ever made in my whole entire life. One of the many bad decisions. I just never get it right when it comes to decision making. I should get me a decision maker. That is not entirely true ...I have made some good decisions in the past that have turned out really well, really really well. In fact, you are free to envy me. For example ...partying every weekend and getting high on random days even when I have a 7 O'clock class. These happen to be the only things that I don't force myself to do.

Why again am I suffering insomnia on a day that I really want to at least close my poor eyes and rest before my test??. It is extremely cold outside and my toes are freezing....my fingers too. The socks that I am wearing ...well ....they are extremely useless. I am starting to imagine that it is my friend's place that is freezing. In case you are wondering, I spent the night at my friend's. She happens to live two minutes away from the lecture hall. I can wake up five minutes before the test. No need to shower in this cold ...I will just grow sick and the last time I checked, I happen to really hate medicine. Showering causes cold. I didn't make that up...it is a fact. Anyway, back to the main reason why I am spending at my friend's. My bed has big big big huge brown monsters that have been biting my roommate the past few days. I am beginning to think she likes being bitten. There is no other better explanation why she sleeps in that bed comfortably. I guess this is punishment for my laziness. I didn't look for a house outside school when I was supposed to and now I am being punished with bed bugs.

Those bed bugs are so fat and healthy. They bite bite bite and never stop biting. The next day when you wake up, your whole body will be itching. Then you will scratch and scratch and scratch and as you scratch, you pray that your unmentionable parts do not start itching or perverts may mistake the scratching for .....you know what I mean. (If you don't, you need to see a psychiatrist. That kind of slowness is definitely not allowed.)

At around 0300 hours, I got into bed. All I did was toss and turn. Somehow, my body has refused to generate any heat. Doctor doctor ....might I be in trouble?? No sleep and no heat on the same night. This isn't mere coincidence. The universe is definitely conspiring against me. ...and now I will conspire against it.Oh my Superman ...where at thou when I need you the most? I should have gotten a boy toy when I had the offer. Perhaps I would be the one making him cold as I take away all his warmth.

Wait a minute ....it is only 0454 hours. I am seated on a blue chair and I am dying of cold. I need another naked body. Did you know that two naked bodies generate more heat than two bodies in clothes? I just made that up. Have you noticed how my genius is a work at 0500 hours in the morning. I should consider having a night shift job. I have always wanted to be useful at night. Then again, what kind of jobs do people do at night?? They watch and watch and watch till the sun rises then they retire to bed. My retarded look can scare away any kind of hooligan and leave them disturbed for the rest if their miserable lives.

Guess who is getting a job ....Drumrolls please ....YOURS TRULY. Oh how excited I am. I will watch all of you...protect you from any evil. I will use my secret weapon ...one that is unique to only me.. MY RETARDED LOOK. I will serve you very faithfully and never let you get hurt unless my own life is in danger.

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The man with a dignified bearing.

What makes you the man??

What makes you THE man??

Someone asked this today.

Beard?

Strength?

Ego?

Is it the fact that you lack a twat?

Is it your voice? (only if you have broken it)

Is it the fact that you stare at anything dressed in a skirt?

Is it because you belong to that sex that can't have babies?

It is becoming difficult to find males who possess, in a high degree, the distinctive qualities of manhood. Someone who has manly experience of every kind. Someone who gets spurred on by dislike of being below their standards. Having the feel of self respect and personal worth.

Having an inflated idea of your importance is attractive. A bit of an inordinate self esteem. ...not to be confused with arrogance. Conceit of ones superiority that manifests itself in lofty airs.

Some things that people do cause the girl a lot of distress and worry. What is happening to the to the male species. If the girl is wrong...then she needs to change some of the people she hangs out around.

The girl has had enough male gold diggers in her life. You wonder why she looks down upon you with disfavor??

She won't mind spending ...she really has nothing to lose here...and you wonder why the she considers you her bitches. She definitely has become 'THE MAN' and you probably are her trucklers. SMH!!! Isn't this mortifying enough!!!

The tremulous excitement of chasing a girl who is impossible to catch.....I would like to think most males enjoy this. (except for those who are unaware of their sexuality)

The girl who isn't being caught is highly likely to be respected more than one who gets caught even before the chase begins. If you are a man whore and for you 'K is constant', you might take long to understand....especially because of your inverted priorities.

The trucklers ...and the girl who gets caught before the chase begins, have exactly the same indistinct notion on either sexes. (Judging from a normal person's point of view__one with self pride) I like my men with elevation of character and dignified bearing. It is time to drop my male gold diggers.

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Stress, geese, social intelligence, pampers

One of those days when I think I am stressed though I really don't know about what. I am stressed ....I am stressed ...I am stressed. No no no_all I am doing is thinking too much about nothing. I haven't been able to fart for some days. I even tried eating beans and boiled eggs. Might this be a symptom of stress. I actually thought it was a nice thing until I mentioned it to him and the paranoia kicked in. My phone does fart each time I get a text. If I start farting too, there will be so many people farting in my room. Don't forget my roommate who has to do it every morning. I am considering sleeping with a gas mask. There is very little oxygen in my room every morning. I should get a new roommate before the newspaper headlines read, "VERY GORGEOUS UNIVERSITY STUDENT IS KILLED BY ROOMMATE'S LOUD FARTS." I really fear geese. My pulse rate suddenly increases when I see them. My old man has about six of them. They are worse than dogs. They make so so much noise ...it is annoying. I have to make sure they are tightly locked up before I visit old man. Why can't old man just kill those things and eat them ...all of them. They have fat thighs and big wings... and the asses,I would totally hit that if I was a goose. I hear they are extremely sweet. Wonder why i fear them?? I was a really pretty baby at 11. In case you are wondering, I still am very pretty. My chest has grown bigger since then. That is probably the only noticeable difference since then. This white female goose chased me and bit my ass. And that is how I got scarred for the rest of my life. I used to think that was where my dimple came from but old lady confirmed that I was born with it. The only birthmark on my body. I only get to see it when I am unclothed. Have you ever gone out with your girlfriend and her friend then when you get back home the girlfriend's friend sleeps between the two of you. Social intelligence is a very rare commodity. The same friend changes how she talks around you. The American accent kicks in. What is with her need to look and sound like a genius?? Lets not talk about her top....it starts too late and ends really early. Need I mention the walking around the house naked!! A stranger would conclude that the three of you are doing each other. If I was a boy, I'd have done both of them. My jumpsuit issues have become too many. The next time I wear this thing, I will have bought myself diapers (pampers to be specific) My ass would look really big and round. I think I'll dig this look ....I am on my way to the supermarket. "Pampers on the shelves ....look sexy, Bubbles is coming for you."