Last night I had the weirdest dream. In a matatu, we get an accident. The matatu falls into a river. Everyone is swimming to save their lives ...even the people who didn't have the slightest clue on how to float in water, like that 90 year old grandma. Somehow, they were able to swim. It's amazing what adrenaline can actually do. I was also swimming ...I was swimming..... not to save my life but was looking for the tout. He had my change and I wanted it. Well...I woke up after that, I didn't have the chance to finish the dream.
The whole morning, I have been wanting to know what became of me and my greedy self. So, I have decided to finish the dream while I am awake. This is what happened ...I swam, swam, swam and swam looking for the tout. Where the hell is this tout ....I need my money back. The tout is nowhere to be seen. Am I ever gonna get my money back?? Perhaps I should start crying. Wailing sounds even better. It has been long since I actually wailed nicely to satisfaction. You all should try wailing in the woods ...I promise you that no wolves will catch you or even notice you are around unless you sound like one. If a wolf catches you, there is only one thing that you can do to get rid of it and become a ninja the next day ....here it is......wait for it....keep waiting .....EMBRACE THE COWARD IN YOU AND RUN ....RUN FOR YOUR LIFE ....YOUR LIFE IS IN DANGER. The wolf will eat you...then leave the rest of you to vultures. Are you scared yet??
At this point, only your feeble legs and the existing coward in you will save you. Lesson learnt ....you will be very stupid if you actually go wailing in the woods. The only people who can go wailing in the woods are those who have kinship with the animal world ...I have quite a number of those friends ...and I ain't hinting.
Well well well ...the tout is still missing. This is not good. Wait a minute, that dude over there who is almost drowning looks like a tout. Swimming towards him to save his life so I can have my money back. The poor guy cannot swim. I should hurry and save his life. He needs me..he needs my help. This is my one and only chance to be a heroin. I hope someone with a camera passes by and captures this life changing moment on video. I am going to be a goodwill ambassador. This will be the most heroic time of my life...forget about the time that I actually beat my old man in chess ...and the time I chased a dog that was supposed to be chasing me.
Did I catch the tout?? Yes I did. Did I get my money?? Hell no. Well ...hoping to get coins from a drowning man is the most stupid thing that someone can try doing. Was that moment recorded??? Sadly it wasn't. I guess I'll have to cling on to that time when I chased a dog. That was so badass ...
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